


What to Expect When You're Not Expecting

by detective_giggles



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Adoption, Barisi Holiday Exchange 2020, Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28423338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/detective_giggles/pseuds/detective_giggles
Summary: For the Barisi Holiday Exchange 2020.Sonny and Rafael adopt.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 38
Collections: Barisi Holiday Exchange 2020





	What to Expect When You're Not Expecting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adabarbacarisi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adabarbacarisi/gifts).



> for: adabarbacarisi
> 
> Thank you to Sarahcakes613 for the beta! I appreciate you!

Rafael lets himself into the apartment and hangs up his coat. He’s relieved to see Sonny is still there. He hates when Sonny has an overnight shift- it usually means Sonny is leaving just as he gets home. He likes to at least say good bye. 

Rafael slips his arm around Sonny’s waist and nuzzles into his neck. “Hey… You’ve been busy.” He turns and starts to rummage through one of the cardboard boxes stacked on the table. 

“Yeah,” Sonny folds the flaps on the box closed. “I will drop everything by the donation bin tomorrow morning after I get off work. But I’ve got to get going. I lost track of time.” 

“Wouldn’t it have made more sense to declutter _before_ you moved in?” Rafael asks with a playful smirk. He reaches into a box and pulls out a child-sized baseball glove. “Why do you even have this?”

Sonny plucks the toy from his hand and drops it back in the box. “Don’t worry about it. I gotta go. I love you.”

Rafael grabs onto Sonny’s tie and reels him in for a kiss, “I love you too. Text me if you get too bored. Don’t let Rollins get you into trouble.” Sonny snorts. “Be safe.”

“I will. Goodnight.” 

Rafael watches as he grabs his keys, his work cell, and his personal phone off the counter and hurries out the door. He fixes himself a glass of scotch and makes his way back to the table, peering into one of the boxes. 

Rafael pulls a few items out, one by one: the baseball glove, some little golden books, a well-worn illustrated bible, and a tiny rosary. He sips his drink, continuing to rifle through the box with one hand, holding the beads in the other. 

He opens the second box and chuckles as he pulls out a creepy-looking stuffed owl. Rafael knows he had seen it somewhere before, but at the moment he couldn’t remember where. It was loved, although in good condition considering its age. He sets the owl down and turns back to the box. The owl stares at him with button eyes and Rafael realizes why it looked familiar- nearly all the childhood photos of Sonny that he had seen contained the little bird. Rafael sighs as he realizes what Sonny was throwing out. “Well, fuck.”

***

Sonny sighs as he let himself into the apartment. He walks into the kitchen, wondering why Rafael had gone to bed with all the lights still on. He flips off the light and peers around to the kitchen table. It was empty, without a trace of the boxes he had placed there earlier.

“Raf?” he heads for the living room and starts to shut off the light when he notices Rafael, asleep on the couch. There was a partial glass of scotch on the table and he has his hand curled loosely around something. Sonny makes his way over and pulls the familiar stuffed animal from Rafael’s hand. Maybe he wouldn’t get rid of it quite yet. Sonny leans in and gives Rafael a little shake. “Rafi? I’m going to bed, come on, get up.”

“Hmmm?” Rafael squints against the bright light and groans, sitting up slowly.

“Why did you fall asleep out here? Come on, let’s go to bed.” Sonny holds his hand out to help Rafael off the couch. Instead, Rafael tugs until Sonny drops next to him. 

“We need to talk,” he murmurs, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“Is this about Owlexander?”

“Huh?” Sonny laughs and points to the stuffed toy. “Oh. No. Well, yes.”

“Am I going to want to finish this first?” Sonny jokes, gesturing vaguely to the scotch.

“It’s just… you’ve literally never mentioned wanting kids before.”

“Yep.” Rafael watches as Sonny snatches the glass and drains it, wincing slightly at the burn. “I, uh, I really didn’t think it needed to be said.”

Of course, Rafael had seen Sonny with Noah, Jesse, and his nieces plenty of times, but he honestly thought Sonny liked being the cool uncle - getting to spoil them rotten and then sending them home when they get fussy or a diaper needed changing. He hadn’t realized Sonny had boxes of stuff he intended on passing on to his own kids sitting around - and he definitely hadn’t realized he was what was standing in the way. 

Rafael sighs, wishing Sonny hadn’t just finished his drink, and babbles, saying everything he had been thinking for the past few hours: Sonny’s still young. He’s handsome, smart, funny, loyal (Rafael could go on). Some pretty young thing would be lucky to marry him and have a litter of mini-Carisis running around, the white picket fence, maybe a dog or two. Why would Sonny want him: an old, bitter ADA, with a career going nowhere and a caffeine problem? And when would Sonny wise up and realize what he could have had, and start resenting him for taking that all away? 

Sonny laughs and shifts, practically plopping himself on Rafael’s lap. “But I couldn’t afford a house with a white picket fence on my salary. Plus I’m allergic to dogs, remember?”

“I’m serious. I’m not worth it. You can do so much better.”

Sonny shakes his head and sighs, “Can I be completely honest? My mom saved all that stuff. I didn’t even know about it until I ended up rescuing it from the garbage after I, uh…” He rolls his eyes, “after I came out to my parents.”

“Sonny, I-”

“I just… I never got rid of it because, let’s face it, I’m a romantic at heart. I had always hoped I’d be able to get married someday. And the option of adoption was there, or at the very least, the possibility of Bella giving me a nephew, you know?” He shifts, grabbing Rafael’s hands in his. “But I love you, Rafael. I want you. You make me happy in a way I never thought was possible. You are, without a doubt, who I choose to spend my life with.”

Rafael stares at him for a moment. Sonny always had an honest face. But Rafael hears the confidence in his voice, and sees the vulnerability in his eyes, and knows he’s telling the truth.

“So, where’s the rest of my stuff?” Sonny finally asks, curiosity getting the better of him.

Rafael shrugs, “I put it back in storage as soon as I realized what it was.” 

Sonny laughs. “Did you really think I was going to leave you to go knock up some blonde bimbo?”

Rafael shakes his head, “I had hoped not. But. One never knows.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Sonny leans in and gives Rafael a kiss. “Now, I’m going to bed with or without you, but I’d rather go with you.”

Sonny stands and holds out his hand, again, to help Rafael up. And again, Rafael stays seated. “Look, Rafi… if you’re still feeling insecure, I-”

Rafael grins, “That’s not it. But you’ve literally never mentioned kids - and so we’ve never had that talk... I’m just saying, I’m not completely opposed to the idea.”

Rafael watches Sonny’s reaction carefully. He exhales slowly, averting his gaze and scrubs his face with his hands. “No. Rafael. This…this isn’t a decision that should be made lightly, or in the spur-of-the-moment, or when I think you might still be a little drunk from last night. Think about it. Really think about it-”

“Sonny-”

“More than just one night, okay? If you still feel this way after a while, we can talk about it again. Otherwise, you never need to mention it again and it’s done.”

Rafael nods slowly and lets Sonny pull him off the sofa.

***

Weeks go by, and Rafael doesn’t mention it. He can see the disappointment, although Sonny tries his best to hide it. There’s a quiet hopefulness in his partner, Rafael can feel it when they’re side by side in the kitchen or snuggled close in bed. A few more months pass, and things slowly return to normal, it’s almost as if Sonny has forgotten. They even watch Sonny’s niece for a weekend while Bella and Tommy have a weekend away.

Rafael, however, hadn’t stopped thinking about it. He’s been reading any parenting books he could get his hands on. He had even sought advice from those that knew him best: Olivia, his mother, even Rita. It takes almost six months for Rafael to decide, and another couple of weeks before he gets up the nerve to tell Sonny. 

Rafael takes the afternoon off- he’ll tell Sonny tonight, over dinner. He chooses something simple, boring, but something he knows he can make without screwing it up. When Sonny arrives home, on time for once, dinner is on the table, still warm, and there’s a chilled bottle of champagne waiting.

“What’s the occasion?” Sonny wonders as he sits down. Rafael can see the anxiety as he tries to figure out if he had forgotten a birthday, anniversary of some sort, or promotion. Rafael serves them both, chicken with potatoes and roasted veggies. He watches as Sonny eats for a few minutes in silence, watching _him_ as he just picks at his food, moving it around on his plate. 

Sonny starts to assure Rafael that, although the chicken is a little over-done, it’s still delicious, when Rafael blurts out, “I want to have a baby with you.”

Rafael winces at the awkwardness of the statement, but Sonny is too surprised and excited to realize how ridiculous that actually sounds. 

“I... are you sure?” Sonny asks slowly. Cautiously. 

Rafael isn’t, of course, but once he sees Sonny’s excitement, he knows immediately, it’s the second-best decision he’s ever made.

***

It’s a cold, late-December morning. Rafael groans as he feels Sonny shift to answer his phone. He’s warm and cozy, snuggled around his husband. He clings a little tighter, not wanting to let Sonny go to deal with...whatever he was being called in on. 

Sonny shakes him awake with the energy of a kid on Christmas morning. “Wake up, Rafi! It’s time!” 

As soon as he’s free of Rafael’s koala-like grip, he jumps up and heads for the bathroom. Rafael, on the other hand, sits up slowly and yawns. He rubs his eyes until he can see the time-1:32am--and sighs.

He jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder, “Rafi?” 

“Huh?”

“You okay?” Rafael knows Sonny is practically vibrating with excitement, but his demeanor is calm, and Rafael is grateful for that. 

Rafael knows Sonny’s ready. He is too, at least, as ready as he’s gonna be. Although they had kept the news that they were looking into adoption fairly quiet (at least in the early stages), he was grateful for their support system. Both his mother and Sonny’s mother were excited and willing to do whatever was necessary to help them along. Olivia was full of advice, of course, and had gotten them in touch with Trevor who was happy to help.

The past 15 months had been full of preparation. The piles of paperwork and all the interviews had seemed never-ending but were fairly routine. The background checks were a breeze, of course, neither one had worries about that. 

The home visits, on the other hand, had caused a fair amount of stress. (Let’s face it, the weekly maid service had been their best investment so far.) Child-proofing the house was easy, but both men were generally far too busy to worry about mundane tasks like mopping the floor. And although Sonny could cook, Rafael knew they relied on take-out way too much. 

The highlight of the year for Rafael was the wedding. He had been worried that Sonny would be disappointed, but adoption was expensive, and he was content with a courthouse ceremony, just a dozen of their closest friends and family in attendance. 

“Yeah… I’m good, I just… The waiting just seemed like it was never going to end. Now that it has, I still feel like I’m not quite ready.” Rafael admits slowly. “This whole year has had some of the most challenging moments of my life, you know?”

“I do... and I was right there beside you, right?” Sonny sits next to Rafael so that their shoulders and thighs are pressed together. “I’m with you as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” Rafael takes a deep breath and smiles. “But you’ve waited long enough. Let’s go get our baby.”

***

“Sit down, please, Sonny. You’re making me nervous.” Rafael pleads for the third time. He looks at Trevor and rolls his eyes. Trevor just smiles and shakes his head, assuring Rafael he’s seen it all and this is totally normal behavior. Sonny does one more lap around the small waiting room and pauses near the window, staring at the empty plastic bassinet that will hold their baby. “Come on, come sit.” Rafael pulls out the chair near his and Sonny slumps down in it.

“I just want to see her. Do you think something’s wrong?”

Rafael shakes his head, “I think they would have told us.” Almost immediately, Rafael and Sonny watch through the glass as a nurse walks in, carrying a baby swaddled tightly in a pink blanket. 

“I’ll give you guys a few minutes.” Trevor murmurs, excusing himself.

Sonny stands and walks to the window. “Rafi? Look at her. She’s _perfect_.” 

Rafael looks between Sonny and their new daughter. “She has more hair than I expected,” he comments.

“Is… Is that what you’re going with?” Sonny looks mildly disappointed and turns his attention back to the baby.

“It’s true!” Rafael mutters defensively, crossing his arms. “Where are they taking her?” Sonny grabs Rafael’s hand as they watch a nurse wheel the bassinet out of the room.

“I… I don’t know.” Sonny and Rafael sit at the small table and Rafael fires off a couple quick texts to Trevor. “Can I get you a cup of coffee or something?” Rafael offers.

Sonny shakes his head, “Don’t leave. Please.”

“Okay. I’m right here.” Rafael and Sonny sit for what feels like an eternity before Trevor joins them again.

“Congratulations, gentlemen! One TPR signed and notarized.”

“That was fast.” Rafael can only glance at the signed Termination of Parental Rights form before Sonny snatches it up, pouring over the words.

“This is it?” Sonny’s fingers lightly trace over the scrawled signature, “She’s ours? Officially?”

“Yes.” Trevor smiles and takes the seat across from them, “I mean, I still need to file this with the court. And I need your signature on a few things. But for all intents and purposes, she’s yours.” Trevor gently takes the forms from Sonny. “They’ll bring her through that door in a few minutes so you can spend some time with her. But I’m going to need your signatures.” 

Rafael signs first and then makes his way to the window. Sonny is halfway finished with his portion of the paperwork when a nurse opens the door and pushes the bassinet through. She stops a few feet away from Rafael and introduces herself to the couple.

“I’m Emily, and I have someone for you to meet. Dad? Do you want to hold her?” She reaches into the bassinet and gently pulls out the little bundle and offers her to Rafael.

“Me? No, thank you.” 

“Rafi!” Sonny gives him a look and he acquiesces, stepping forward. The nurse has the patience of a saint as she instructs Rafael how to hold his daughter and hands her over. “There you go. Support her head. Yep. Just like that.”

He turns stiffly, still looking mildly terrified. He is not surprised to see that Sonny already has his phone out and poised for pictures.

“Okay, my turn!” Sonny hurries over and expertly plucks the baby from Rafael’s arms only for her to immediately start to wail. He bounces her a few times, using every trick he knows to try and stop her tears. “She likes you, Rafi!” he says with a grin.

“Yeah, yeah, give her here.” Sonny places the infant in Rafael’s arms and both men sigh with relief when she finally stops crying.

“Do you guys have a name for her yet?”

“Natalie Grace,” they reply in unison.

“That’s beautiful.”

“She’s beautiful.” Sonny says.

Emily smiles, this is her favorite moment. “Would you like me to take your first family photo?” 

Sonny’s eyes light up as he unlocks his phone and hands it over. “Yes, please.” Sonny leans in close and throws an arm around Rafael. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Emily clears her throat, “Okay guys, say ‘family’ on three. One… Two… Three!”

“Family!”

**Author's Note:**

> Eeeek! This was so much fun to write! I hope that it fills the prompt like you had in mind! 
> 
> Thank you to D & D for the help! And thank you to my husband for naming the darn owl.


End file.
